A Stranger in a Strange Land

I am finding myself in a strange position. One that I thought would take me a lot longer to get to.

My friends tell me that it is important that I make sure that I am in a place where I like myself, before I get involved with any one else. They also tell me that it may take a long time to get over my marriage as it lasted for several years.

I honestly do not think that I am lying to myself when I say that I am over it. A lot of the pain is still there, and it will likely always be there, but I am at peace with it.

I also, for the the first time in a long time, am really happy with the person that I am. For a long time I tried lying to myself about who I was. When it comes right down to it, I have my flaws, just like everyone else, but I AM the kind of person that looks out for other people. The kind of person that would gladly give up their own comfort to make a stranger have peace for the night. I think I am a good person, and that has taken me years to realize.

The strange position is, now that I think I am ready to start dating again, I do not have a fucking clue how to proceed...


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As an addendum, I just wanted to add that I reread some of my posts and I realize that just four days ago, I posted that I was trying to numb the pain rather than deal with it. I do not think that something miraculous has happened in that time, but who knows maybe it has. I really do think that I was simply having a bad night, and after talking to friends who really do care about me, some clarity has finally been achieved.

Regardless I am in a good place. I have not been in a good place while I was sober in a while, sad I know, but it is the truth. I am sober tonight, I am in sound mind and body, and I feel good. I have to laugh at the fact that I kept telling myself that I needed to make a todo list in order to organize the things I needed to get done, and it is ironic that today I did just that, and tonight is the first night in months that I feel like I have a real handle on my life.

Yes I am that much of a nerd. To make matters worse I actually created a todo list and synced it to my phone using an app from the android market. Hail to the kind of Nerds! And you know what? I am okay with that.